God does not sleep. thank God, i’m not Him.

4am. A lone figure in the Weitz Center. A paper due in 5 hours. No topic. After 4 hours.

I would normally be freaking out by now, in a bad way, and I do feel like crying and allowing myself to sink into despair, but I cannot, because to do that would be to deny that my God is so much greater than all of this.

out of the depths, O Lord, i cry to You, when i am tempted to despair…

The upside of having this whole place to myself is that I get to blast Christian music to remind me of who God is, and of His infinite goodness, and His unchanging greatness, even in times like this. Though I cannot see how I am going to get this done, and really, how I am going to last through this week (I have so much to do…), I will put my trust in You… Not in a simplistic, naive sort of way, thinking that by a wave of some magic wand, my work will get itself done (if only), but in a even-if-I-fail-to-get-all-this-done-I’m-gonna-be-okay kind of way. It’s a belief that He is greater than my greatest worries and concerns. Really, He ought to be my greatest concern. There is more to life than writing amazing papers and turning said papers in on time… Than getting all my reading done and being ‘the good student’…

You make all things work together for my good.

For example, worship tonight… The curtain being torn in two, entering the Holy of Holies, drawing the campus in – in to this place of worship, in to worship You… Going back to the roots, the foundations of this institution: the revelation of Your Words illuminate – “the illumination of those dangerous yet attractive pagan texts in the holy rays of Christian scripture”.

This studying…it is not an end in itself. And it must not be done or considered in isolation. The knowledge that I need is not found solely in the texts, but in the wisdom that comes from God to interpret and understand them… O, that they might be used to a greater end…His glory…

You are holy, great and mighty… The moon and the stars declare who You are…

So it’s back to work. 4.30am. C’mon, God. Let’s do this.

and right now, in the good times and bad, You are on Your throne; You are God alone…

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