I’m not very good at keeping in touch. Terrible, in fact, as the dozens of emails sitting in my inbox awaiting a reply testify. Maybe that’s me being an introvert, maybe it’s me being self-absorbed and a horrible friend; whatever the reasons, it doesn’t really matter. The point is that I don’t take a whole lot of initiative with many friendships.
People like to make lunch or dinner dates here at Carleton. I suck at that, as you might have guessed. Thankfully (and I don’t thank them enough), I have friends who hunt me down. They put me in their schedules, and I show up.
I’ve realized, lately, that I keep waiting to get a call from God to go grab dinner or something. I keep waiting for him to chase me down. But the fact is – He already has. I just haven’t been showing up.
Why? That’s worth another post in itself. It must have something to do with me not believing that He’s worth it. Either that or I’m just irrational, which is, truthfully, not out of the question. I mean, God is great. He loves me. Etc etc. There’s no reason I wouldn’t want to be closer to Him and spend time with Him.
I keep waiting for Him to show me, to prove Himself to me. But He already has. Two thousand (and twelve?) years ago, on that old rugged cross, but many more times since then, as well. Again and again, He shows me He’s trustworthy. It would be easier if I could be fully convinced and never doubt that. But I’m human. And so faith must arise. Help me in my unbelief, God.
If God isn’t enough for me, no one and nothing will be.